strategies for calling people in: building bridges, not walls

When you call someone out, you’re satisfying your own ego. It doesn’t always improve the situation, and it can more likely damage a relationship.

But when you know someone has done something wrong and it’s hurting you or others, how do we approach them without making matters worse?

In today's world, addressing problematic behaviour or attitudes is crucial for creating a more inclusive and supportive environment. While calling people out may be necessary in some situations, it's important to recognize that calling people in can often be a more effective approach.

Calling people in involves engaging in private and constructive conversations to address behaviour or beliefs. It focuses on creating a safe space for dialogue, understanding, and education. By inviting individuals to reflect on their actions or views, we can foster personal growth and create allies who actively work towards positive change and social justice.

Here are some strategies to effectively call people in:

1. Establish a safe and non-judgmental environment: Creating a space where individuals feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and concerns without fear of being attacked or shamed is crucial. This encourages open dialogue and fosters trust, allowing for meaningful conversations to take place.

2. Focus on education and empathy: Instead of immediately criticizing or condemning someone, approach the conversation with empathy and a willingness to educate. Share personal experiences, stories, or resources that can help them understand different perspectives and the impact of their actions.

3. Encourage self-reflection and growth: Rather than simply pointing out problematic behaviour, ask open-ended questions that encourage individuals to reflect on their actions and consider alternative viewpoints. Help them understand the potential harm caused by their behaviour and guide them towards personal growth and change.

4. Offer support and resources: Provide resources, such as articles, books, or workshops, that can help individuals further educate themselves on the topic. Offer support in their journey towards becoming an ally, and be available to answer questions or provide guidance along the way.

5. Foster ongoing dialogue: Building allies is a continuous process. Encourage ongoing conversations and check-ins to ensure that individuals are actively learning and growing. Celebrate their progress and acknowledge their efforts, which can further motivate them to continue their allyship journey.

By embracing the approach of calling people in, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment. It allows for personal growth, empathy, and understanding, ultimately fostering the development of allies who actively work towards positive change and social justice. Let's choose to call people in and build a better future together.